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Thursday, March 1, 2007

Who Is David DeAngelo... And How Can He Help Me Become More Successful With Women And Dating?

David DeAngelo is the pseudonym of Eben Pagan, a seduction guru and the founder of the "Double Your Dating" company. "Double Your Dating" publishes literature and multimedia on dating and seduction, mostly over the Internet.

Background

David DeAngelo is a dating adviser based in the United States. Originally a student of Ross Jeffries and using the nickname Sisonpyh (hypnosis spelled backwards), DeAngelo's ideas were first widely published and publicized in a post on the underground seduction newsletter called Cliff's List.

DeAngelo's commercial career began with the release of his first bookDouble Your Dating in 2001. Since then, he has released many products aimed at helping men with dating with titles such as theAdvanced Dating series,77 Laws of Success With Women and Dating,Deep Inner Game, andMeeting Women Online.

DeAngelo runs an e-mail newsletter which is distributed to over 1 million subscribers.

Beliefs

DeAngelo argues that much of social behavior is related in some way to sexual reproduction, and that human mating habits do not differ significantly from other species.

He suggests that societal conditioning has programmed many modern men to develop involuntary habits that increase the failure rate of consistently attracting women or negate the attractive qualities that were designed to make women want them.

DeAngelo states in one of his advanced dating technique seminars that people can use his techniques to achieve a variety of goals, whether that goal is to have casual sex or to form more lasting relationships. David DeAngelo, as a member of the Seduction Community as a whole, often comes under fire by women and men who advocate "just being yourself", but is just as strongly defended by his proponents who argue that these opinions are based on ignorance of his actual material.

Advice on attraction

David DeAngelo contends most men lack a deep understanding of women, and thus are at a loss to attract the ones they desire. As a result, men are forced to accept whomever selects them.

DeAngelo believes that women are not as obsessed with the appearance of prospective mates as males are. Further, he contends that typical male courting gambits such as excessive flattery and gifting are seen by women as manipulative and insecure, and are thus ultimately unattractive. Instead, he contends that "attraction isn't a choice" -- women cannot be bribed intochoosing to feel attraction. Rather, DeAngelo asserts that a woman will feel attraction automatically when she perceives a man to have admirable characteristics such as confidence, lightheartedness, humor and independence, qualities he boils down into the shorthand "cocky and funny."

Thus, while a typical man might hope to appeal to a desirable woman with obsequiousness and unbridled enthusiasm, carefully hiding any reservations he might have about her, a "cocky and funny" one would actually make his reservations abundantly clear from the outset, albeit flirtatiously and with humor.

DeAngelo stresses that his recommendations are limited to advising men on how to present themselves more attractively in dating scenarios, and makes it clear that his advice is not necessarily relevant to ongoing relationships.

Terms DeAngelo uses

  • The Inner Wuss: a character trait of men developed through time that causes them to become submissive around women in order to get their approval. DeAngelo claims that women prefer men who are of higher status than them.
  • Cocky and funny: also known as 'cocky comedy', this refers to a humorous mock arrogance intended to communicate with intelligence and being 'a challenge'. DeAngelo points out that it is important to get the balance right, as just using 'cocky' "comes across as insecure, and comedy alone usually comes across as goofy and dumb."
  • Counterintuitive behavior: DeAngelo's description of some of his techniques to attract women, as they are the opposite of what most peoplethink is attractive. Examples of such behavior include teasing a woman offhandedly and refusing to compliment her appearance.
  • Life changes: DeAngelo reiterates that the purpose of his programs is to effect a complete personality and lifestyle change among men that will help them achieve dating success.
  • Emulate the Successful: DeAngelo encourages the following and emulation of those successful with women. He records interviews with those very successful in dating and releases them monthly as part of a subscription service.
  • Sexual Communication: DeAngelo's principle of a 'secret mating language' or 'secret mating dance' that takes place between a man and a woman before they can mate.
  • Reframing: Restructuring one's own beliefs set into a new one, such as changing self-doubt to positive thinking.

Double Your Dating

Double Your Dating is a series of tutorials primarily advertised and sold through the internet.

The foundation for theDouble Your Dating series is an ebook which claims to help men "demystify" much of what goes into attraction. Following the ebook, DeAngelo created further materials in the series, including a second ebook, as well as several ebooklets, seminars on DVDs and CDs covering various topics (notably the Advanced and Mastery series, as well as Meeting Women Online, Deep Inner Game, Power Sexuality, On Being a Man, Cocky & Funny and Body Language and several others), and the monthlyInterviews with Dating Gurus CD subscription.

Criticism

Some critics regard "Cocky & Funny", DeAngelo's best known technique, as being over-emphasised. They believe that the technique may backfire and be interpreted as arrogant, insecure and phony and may actually harm a man's chances with women. Alternatives have been suggested to "Cocky & Funny", such as "Confident & witty"and "Playful & Confident" ("P&C").

David DeAngelo points out that "arrogance by itself is a turn-off to women", whilst "arrogant humor that MAKES THEM LAUGH is a HUGE turn on." It should also be noted that DeAngelo has acknowledged that his work is a collection of suggestions and ideas and not to be taken as dogma. As evidenced in his Sexual Communication series, DeAngelo encourages students to evaluate his material "with your own minds".

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